Up and Down.

This is all rather overwhelming.  Mom went to the doc today to get a test done (where they aren’t sure they got a good enough sample, so they may have no more info when we go in next Thurs) and was sure she heard the PA say that she might not have cancer.  Later I had to call the MD office to confirm a test they had scheduled (that doesn’t even need to get done because she already had it done but they weren’t on the ball with that) and they told me that there was no reason the PA should have given her any indication she didn’t have it.  For a moment when Mom told me that I felt relief – I knew she wasn’t correct as we have already had a test come back saying it is cancer – but still I was relieved – wishing this could all be a big mistake. That maybe just like that we would go in on Thursday and they would say they had it wrong.  Everything is fine.  Or it’s just a fibroid tumor that needs to be removed and all will be well.  It’s almost worse to have had a moment of relief and then be crashed back to reality.  Now I just feel so. sad.